Do I want to do this, or do I have to do this?
- 4 minsThe Balance Between Joy and Discipline: Finding Your Path
In recent months, I’ve been deeply contemplating the contrast between finding pleasure in what we do and maintaining discipline. The eternal question: Do I want to do this, or do I have to do this? Both aspects are crucial, yet there’s a fundamental difference between them.
My Journey
I’ve always considered myself a highly disciplined person. I’ve undertaken numerous projects, diving into the world of technology since 2013, when I was just 15-16 years old. From that point forward, I’ve been creating projects, working for companies, winning national competitions, and achieving results that, while not entirely satisfying, are certainly noteworthy. I’ve worked as a freelancer, completed various projects, and collaborated with companies I believed in.
All of this started with a genuine passion. Technology has always been my path. From a young age, my father suggested I try programming, and when I did, I immediately fell in love with it. The ability to build something - whether it was my first HTML/CSS website about Pokémon (my passion at age 11) or more complex projects - was always driven by the simple fact that I enjoyed it.
The Role of Discipline
Then, for reasons I’m still exploring, discipline entered the picture. And it’s important that it did, because life isn’t linear. Not every day will you be excited to do what you love. It’s like sports - you might love the game, but some days you don’t feel like training. You’re tired, in a bad mood, or angry about something, but you still have to do it. Therefore, both elements are essential, and neither should dominate completely.
The Obsession Trap
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on this balance and realized that in many areas of my life, discipline had become the only driving force - a strong, almost obsessive discipline. I was chasing results, sometimes at the cost of my well-being. The indie hacking is a fascinating field, but there’s one thing they don’t tell you (or that you don’t listen to when they do): it takes patience.
A Recent Project
I recently started a project with a friend called EasyPapiro (which I mentioned in this blog a month and a half ago). It seemed like one of those overnight success stories we all hear about - a sensible idea in a niche market with little competition and room for innovation. I thought, “We’ll create this project, and it’ll be an overnight success.” But that success hasn’t come yet, and that’s normal. In this world, you need patience, which, for me, conflicts with obsessive discipline.
The Cost of Obsessive Discipline
My obsessive discipline became a sacrifice - putting aside other aspects of my life for immediate results. When those results don’t come, it creates endless anxiety, stress, and pressure that can compromise other parts of your life.
A New Perspective
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend working on a project. When I asked what he wanted from life, he said, “Apart from success with projects, I want exactly the freedom I have now. I’m starting to appreciate it because I’m doing things I genuinely love, and while these things might lead somewhere in the future, I’m already enjoying what I want my life to be.”
This was eye-opening. For a significant part of my journey, I’ve been living in the future. “In the future, everything will be better. In the future, this project will explode positively. In the future, I’ll have lots of money and solve all other problems.” I’m starting to believe this isn’t how it works. When they say it’s about the journey, they’re right. If you’re in “grind mode” - super disciplined and obsessive - you’re not enjoying the journey, and you’re not really getting anything out of it.
Moving Forward
This post serves as a declaration: I want to start enjoying things again. I’ve begun to slow down to see if what I’m doing truly brings me joy or if I only like it because it might lead to a life-changing result. I’m tired of “eating shit” just because I want a result. Instead, I want to do beautiful things - things that, even if I don’t particularly feel like doing them, won’t torture me or stress me out just because they’re important for a result.
I want my projects to be creative outlets, perhaps for certain moods. A place of happiness and escape. This is what I want my future to be: a balance between creativity and discipline, between the joy of doing something and the commitment to do it well and see it through to completion.
An harmony between pleasure, commitment, and success - when possible.
Luigi Donadel
Senior Software Engineer and Entrepreneur. Building stuff.